dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
we should paint friendship bongs
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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