Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
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