she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize