i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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