Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
