I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
