He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
