too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
