Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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