so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
