New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
