I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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