I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so let's talk penis.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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