What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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