Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
