If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
