I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
