I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You made out with two different species that night
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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