dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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