would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
