I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
