i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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