some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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