I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
