I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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