lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
