i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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