There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
