did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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