Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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