Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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