We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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