Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
