Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I intend to get homeless drunk
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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