Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize