what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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