You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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