Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
is that a dick in a sweater?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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