the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
