Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize