i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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