Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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