What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
