wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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