Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm always down for nudity.
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