why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
