I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
