did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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