mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm just crazy horny about you
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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