Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
