i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Randomize
