there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
