accomplished twins. life is a go
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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