quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
