i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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