allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm just crazy horny about you
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize