I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
