1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
