I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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