i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
