Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
