i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
