this just has baby written all over it
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
